Overheard at Kenyon: Campus Safety doesn’t have the budget to surround us

via redbubble.com

via redbubble.com

Welcome to the special Reading Days edition of Overheard. Remember, we have ears everywhere. Enjoy!

Conspiracy Theorist: “What if the Sheriff had a drone? A lot of small towns are getting robots.”

Junior Guy: “Wow, your heart.”

  • Junior Girl: “It beats for you.”
  • Junior Guy: “Really? I feel like most of the time it beats for you.”

Knowledgeable Senior: “They wash babies once they come out,”

  • Another Senior: “Like a car wash.”

English Major: “That makes sense in like a math way.”

Girl #1: “Is it cold outside?”

  • Girl #2: “I mean, it’s not so cold that you would freak out.”

A Pimp: “It’s hard out there for a pimp. Especially a pimp that doesn’t like stairs.”

Astrological Junkie: “I’m meeting so many more Taurus people these days! I didn’t know any growing up!”

Senior Gap Fan: “I don’t want to be that girl that always goes to the Gap.”

Republican: “It’s just hard being the only Republican with the whole government shutdown happening.”

Sophomore #1: “How long do you think the economy will be shut down for.”

  • Sophomore #2: “Three years.”
  • Sophomore #1: “That’s a long time to not have an economy.”

Good Friend: “I’ll hang out with you all night. I have nothing else to do. [Pause]. I mean, you are my close friends, and I love spending time with you.”

Drama critic leaving Miss Julie: “All the characters were terrible people, but in an interesting way.”

Senior Girl: “Can we just send a shout out to everyone who was at fashion week in New York and say, ‘Fuck you to all of you dining at Pastis.'”

  • Senior Guy: “Pastis? What is this, 2002?”

Someone who finally figured it out: “Campus Safety doesn’t have the budget to surround us.”

3 comments

  • Freshman lost in time and among the NCAs, at 11:01 PM:
    “GUESS WHAT TIME IT IS?! COVE O’CLOCK!”

  • Ok guys, “who” is what you use if you’re talking about a person and “that” is what you use when you’re talking about a thing. Unless you are a thing, you’re a pimp who doesn’t like stairs. Sorry I’m not sorry.

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