10 o’clock list: Kenyon Problems

I’d say these complaints rank a solid 2.3 (via wordpress.com)

There are a lot of great things at Kenyon, like Muffin Mondays and midnight breakfast. Yet, as we roll around in our Kenyon Bubble, we all find common things to complain about. I’m not sure whether it’s therapeutic or unhealthy to relish in mild frustration, but it can’t be denied that we do it every day. Here are five things that rank pretty low on the Kenyon complaint spectrum,  somewhere under “toe stubbing” but probably on par with “almost tripping down the stairs.”

1. Peirce cups: I’m talking about those times where you sidle up to the cups rack and innocently reach for a Peirce cup, only to pull up half the stack with it. You’ll probably have to make two or three more attempts until the chosen cup wiggles free like Excalibur, but by now all your hopes of looking casual at the juice bar are gone. 

2. When You Try to Print from the One Computer That Isn’t Connected to the Printer:  Go ahead and call me stupid for not printing a “test page” before I pulled up all of my PDFs for the evening and got ready to print, but you can’t say this hasn’t happened to you at least twice.

3. Beetles Everywhere: Also known as Halloween Lady Beetles, the bugs that invade campus in the fall are charming at first because you “think you heard that they can bring good luck.” But they stop being cute around week three when you open the door to your New Apt and they litter the floor like tiny fallen soldiers and slowly crawl across your ceiling and lampshades in evil little zombie clusters.

4. Mistaking Someone’s Identity on Middle Path at Night – The thing about Middle Path at night is that you can spot someone from pretty far away, and yet you can’t seem to recognize them until you’re maybe four inches away from each other under a streetlamp. It’s usually best to play it safe because, “Oh sorry, I didn’t say hi because I wasn’t sure if it was you!” is always less awkward than, “Hey stranger, I only jumped into your arms because I thought you were my First-Year roommate.”

5. Calling the Cove When the Line is Busy: Calling the Cove late on a Friday night is like playing a game of craps with your heart, and sometimes you’re left with “26 outgoing calls” and not a single Mac N’ Cheese wedge to your name.

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