Ahoy Matey
I’m back Kenyon and I’ve been storing up a good load of gossip from these four Reading Days (or should I say daze, Olin was positively empty).
Spotted everywhere, Safety officers. Boy oh boy, it seems like students just can’t keep their parties under control this year! I get that it was your birthday, but whoever tried to recreate this in their NCA has to remember that we are on a college campus, not a Carnival Cruise. And rugby players, I get that you have to go H.A.M. on the field, but the refs here care when you break things. ‘Course, I’d rather be busted by Safety than die of boredom in the Bullseye. The DKEs were not on their game this weekend: closed down by 1:30 on a Saturday night? I expect better. What are all of us to do?
Calling all Seniors: I heard tell of a steaming game of “spin the bottle” in the basement of Aclands. Reliving the glory days of middle school, perhaps? Was truth or dare was involved too? I mean I don’t know how else to explain the presence of two tall senior boys caught on the roof.
Whether you were sailing, or spinning, or (gasp) studying this weekend, I hope you got your kicks in ‘cause parents weekend is coming up and you can’t afford forget that your parents were young once too, they know what a hangover looks like!
Glad you’re back on the Hill y’all, and please, ignore my advice about Parent’s Weekend. You’d hate to deprive me of good content, right?
You know you love me,
XOXO
-Philander Chase
The Kenyon Thrill 
This is like a ripoff of the Collegiate’s Gossip Squirrel. Only so not funny, like at all. You’re better than that, Thrill.
“you can’t afford forget that your parents were young once too, they know what a hangover looks like!”
Or you can not be lame and get drunk either with them or not give a fuck if you’re hungover the next day.
Shame on you. This blog’s lack of creativity has sucked all spirit and life out of me that I can’t even troll you from my neogothic princeton, nj mansion
all hail squirrel
This isn’t funny. It’s just judgmental and mean.
XOXO Lover of rugby, DKEs, Acland inhabitants, and most other fun things
shouldn’t be starting false rumors about people breaking things, especially ruggers
Definitely was the rugby team, no way that it could have been a lacrosse player, football player or swimmer – the members of those teams are nothing but prudent, delicate & cautious when under the influence.
Also, seriously why is there are gossip blog? This is pathetic.
What things were broken that are being blamed on rugby players?
Being a rugby player myself, I’d very much like to know.
If you didn’t like the parties you should have bought your own booze and had your own, but my educated guess is that you’re either not 21 or don’t want to buy your own booze. Basically don’t complain about parties if you don’t ever throw your own.
This new “feature” is really stupid and should be discontinued