Soon, the Parents will descend upon the campus. This means it’s time for another round of Uphill/Downhill
Uphill: Parents Weekend Without Your Parents — This is the ideal weekend for those of you who don’t have your parents coming. Your friends will invite you out to meals (for free, of course) and all you’ll have to do is act like you don’t know all the terrible things your friend has done so far this semester. “Yes, Mrs. Smith, I’m continually impressed with how studious Sarah is!” Bingo bango, you’re in the clear! Half an hour later you’ll be able to leave and have the time of your life partying. The real winners this weekend, though? The Amish.
Downhill: Parents Weekend With Your Parents — This is not the ideal weekend for those of you who do have your parents coming. Listen, I know you love your parents, but honestly, it’s kind of a drag to spend an entire weekend with them. Your mom probably can’t keep up with you shots wise and your Dad couldn’t hit a cup in pong to save his life. It’s going to be a long weekend, perhaps fun at first, but you’ll be begging for class come Sunday. Imagine this conversation 30 times: “How are classes?” “Fine,” What are you studying?” “Political Philosophy,” “Why?”