Your parents are coming and they have nice shiny wallets and care about your well being and will maybe even pay for a tank of premium gas to put in the Jaguar they bought you, but enough about getting your parents to buy you stuff this weekend, here’s a list of stuff you can buy them (with the money they’ve already put on your K-card). Woohoo, Dads love golf shirts!
- This black (Wool? Cotton? I didn’t check) v-neck sweater with an embroidered Kenyon seal is the best way to get your parent to represent Kenyon while at work/any other business casual situation.
- Your sister will love these soft and graphic Kenyon sweatpants. Send them home as a thoughtful gift to ensure that she’ll feel very sorry for attending high school play rehearsal instead of coming to Family Weekend.
- Quidditch is kooky and for adolescent wizards, just like Kenyon! Get this shirt for your Mom so she can pretend she’s on a new intramural team none of her co-ed softball teammates have ever heard of.
- This fleecy sweater is no longer sold at the Bookstore, but you could try stealing it off of the back of this unsuspecting student. No dent in your K-card balance required!
- Buy this tank top in a size medium as a birthday present for your older brother (your parents will think this is sweet) and then accidentally put it through the wash and claim the ‘surprisingly’ much-smaller tank top for yourself.