They don’t take tours here. (Photo by Leslie Martin’14)

Everyone knows that college tours tend to gloss over the more unsavory aspects of the institution. Thankfully, Kenyon is still a pretty cool school even after you realize that it isn’t quite the Hogwarts you thought it was. Yet, there are some campus spots that tour guides avoid like the plague. What follows is only a cursory list of places that your guide just happened to forget to show you.

1. Third Floor Ascension — Though the room itself is certainly charming, Third Floor Ascension was not made for being shown on tours. I doubt that students upset about being woken up from their naps aren’t the “Face of Kenyon” that the Admissions office is hoping to show (especially if you have some drool on your face. It’s okay, we’ve all had it happen).
   
2. Third Floor Olin — This is probably more for the safety of the tour groups than anything. Depending on the time of day and year, a group of excitable high school students and their question-filled parents could be in mortal harm if they dared step foot on the monastic third floor. Heavy textbooks and sharp pens may or may not be thrown at them.
3. Back Room of the Bookstore —The place where you get all your textbooks for class is also the K-card equivalent of the elephant boneyard from the Lion King. Tour groups members may experience literal Sticker Shock upon seeing the price on some of the books.
   
4. NCAs — Oh sure, the guides will point out the NCAs and comment on how nice they look, but there is no way that they will allow interaction with anyone who lives there. No one wants jaded and cynical upperclassmen scaring the prospective students with horror stories of job interviews and grad school applications. They’ve seen the real world, and it’s scary.
5. Church of the Holy Spirit — One of the most iconic buildings on campus never has tour groups inside of it. Though the college itself is no longer religiously affiliated, it still would seem slightly sacrilegious to bring groups into the chapel for no other reason than to show off how pretty it is.