Midterms- “All You Ever Did Was Break Me.”

Dear Spencer,

Recently, I was charged with the task of “pimping” your carrel. You would know- this is the 4th time in the past 3 weeks you/Jack Quigley/another Thrill staff member has asked me to do so. I apologize for my Thrill Post negligence. However, the time is now upon us. I did, in fact, “Pimp” your Carrel. While I cannot claim to have the charisma and finesse of Detroit’s Finest, Xzibit, I can promise you this: I did the best $35.64 could buy at Wal-mart. Essentially, I “pimped” your carrel to resemble a cobweb. After all, it is almost Halloween. I threw in a few glitter spiders for shits and giggs too- can you blame a girl for listening to Ke$ha on a Wal-mart Run?

I inquired a few of your Brothers if anyone in Old Kenyon is in possession of a “Frat Bat.” To my knowledge, there is one lying around. Bring this with you. You too can have a Miley Moment of Glory when you lick that bat and take it Wrecking Ball-style to the bountiful, Pumpkin Pinata awaiting within your carrel. Given the stress of Midterms and Parents Weekend, I figure you could use a little catharsis.

I hope smashing that Pinata gives you as much happiness as it did when I filled it up this afternoon while eating a few Snickers and Twix.

Love Always,

Va.

P.S. Here’s a little Insta pic of my handy work:

Photo Cred to the Hefe Filter