Rock your body. (via beardshall.blogspot.com.)

Kenyon students love their extracurricular activities. For such a small school, we have an inordinate amount of clubs, societies, and groups that cater to almost any passion you may have. Like equestrian? We got a club. Enjoy classy dancing? There’s a ballroom club that would love to have you. Despite the seemingly countless organizations on campus, there’s alway room for more. Below are some potential clubs that should join the menagerie of groups.

1. Seinfeld Club. “She’s a Lentz Lady, Jerry! She took me back to her room on Saturday night and started reading me Kafka! Now I see her everywhere, and she always tries to discuss the influence of post-modernism on historical fiction. I’m afraid to go outside. It’s madness, I tell you, madness!” We are all George Costanza.
2. Autumnal Leaf Appreciation Club. Kenyon looks absolutely gorgeous in the fall, and it’s a tragedy we don’t have an organization devoted to making crunchy leaf poetry, pressing leaves into books that are brought out once a year, and throwing a weird leaf-based costume party in Weaver.
3. Future Awkward Alumni of Kenyon. A club devoted to preparing for the day when you will suddenly be forty and corner a student in Wiggin Street Cafe to talk about how it used to be Middle Ground. Coming back on non-alumni weekends to invade a New Apt party is highly encouraged.
4. Mock Ministry of Magic. This one almost seems too obvious. Since Kenyon doesn’t like the mainstream, Quidditch would be passé. We can just fuse Model UN and would-be Quidditch players and create a group where such important questions as the legal status of banshees can be discussed.
5. The Kenyon Bad Dancer Society. Most of us are not the most elegant of dancers. On any given weekend night, you will witness graceless grinding, awkward fist pumping, and rhythmless head bobbing. As an added plus, the KBDS can host an Elaine Dancing Party with the Seinfeld Club.