I thought it was going to be a routine run to the market, grabbing that just before midnight beer as I finished my work on a Wednesday night. The Red Sox had just won the World Series and I thought I owed it to myself. I borrowed a bike from a friend and gunned it down Middle Path, wind in my hair, not a care in the world as late-October Kenyon flew past me. Little did I know how quickly tables would be turned that night.
I made it to the Market in what felt like record time and bought a growler of Sam Adams (it was the World Series afterall). I pulled out of the market hopped on the bike and raced back to Old Kenyon. I decided to turn on to College Park Street to avoid Middle Path with the slightly flat tires. As I turned though, I could feel the presence of a car behind me, I looked back and saw none other than our fine Sheriff with his lights flashing.
I went along and hugged the curb a little tighter. I thought I might as well let him go by, he was probably busting up some really crazy Wednesday night party. He didn’t pass me though, he rolled down his window and drove alongside me. I wasn’t really sure what was going on so I slowed a little, he slowed too. He motions for me to pull over, at which point I’m freaking out. I did that thing where even though I’m of age I felt like he was going to be all “you were born on a leap year and you’re really 10-years old!”
So I pull over in front of Peirce and he gets out of the squad car and asks me if I know why he pulled me over. At this point my “I-don’t-care-about-anything” attitude kicked in and I wanted to respond, “How fast was I going officer?” But I didn’t, because I’m not crazy so I just responded “No.” Turns out he pulled me over for blowing through a stop sign on a bike at 11:50 on a Wednesday.
The Sheriff then proceeds to ask me for my identification. After taking down my information, radioing back to HQ and making sure I didn’t have a warrant out for my arrest, he let me out of his custody and told me to tell my friends what happened. So consider this a warning. Do not blow through stop signs on a bike in the dead of night in sleepy ol’ Gambier because the Sheriff does not mess around.
The Kenyon Thrill 
punctuation error
“to tell my friends what happened, . “
I feel bad for you buddy… damn that sucks
“Turns out he pulled me over for blowing through a stop sign on a bike at 11:50 on a Wednesday”
everyone knows that if a Kenyon student wants to ignore traffic laws after ten p.m. on a wednesday (nine p.m. on mondays, thursdays, and fridays) they can! So this sherriff really was out to get you spence, you should feel personally targetted and were well within your rights as a kenyon student to have slapped this knox county peon across the face with an open palm and then make sure that he and his entire family do not receive their wages & gruel for a month just so they remember their place in society.
I once got a speeding ticket, but unfortunately it was in Richland County where the constables are the most upstanding members of the community, ones worthy of my respect and submission, thus demanding my unquestioned compliance.
So edgy.
You’re a vehicle on the road. You blew a stop sign and are surprised that you were reprimanded for it?
I support this comment.
IT WAS THE WORLD SERIES PEOPLE
Huh, I was unaware that stop signs didn’t apply to us once it gets dark outside. Good to know — I guess that biker that ignored a stop sign and almost ran me over was actually the innocent one in the situation.
Thanks for the information, I never realized Kenyon students were excepted from traffic laws.
You’re on the wrong side of this argument. You broke a traffic law and you’re now criticizing the sheriff for doing his job.
Just so we are clear, my intent was not to criticize. I’m merely A) Pointing out the fact that this doesn’t happen very often and B) Reminding people that it’s probably a good idea not to do dumb stuff like run a stop sign. I have a variety of opinions on the effects on the Sheriff on life in Gambier, but in this case he is most certainly in the right. I often forget how often students get hit by cars on College campuses (having grown up near one) because they were being careless while riding their bikes.
Alright, thank you for clarifying.
Must’ve solved all those on-campus thefts already, eh?
why is the title of this “Am I Being Detained? Apparently So.” That’s not what being detained is.
why’d you censor my weenie comment