Overheard at Kenyon: Yes, I Ate a Chip

via forum.hipinion.com

via forum.hipinion.com

Sometimes, you know that staying in is the right choice because you can avoid conversations like these. Here are some choice moments from the last couple weeks:

Caring Friend: “If you had sex with a tampon in, I would take it out for you.”

Senior Girl: “She found a man in the parking lot and stole his crabs.”

Junior Guy to his CA: “Where is your fucking master key?

Animal Lover: “I would let a small mouse live in my hair.”

  • Partially Attentive Dude: “Want to hear something disturbing about animals?”

Junior Girl: “I have the most authority because I’m wearing a coat.”

First-year #1: “I mean, you just can’t get drunk on Mike’s Hard.”

  • First-year #2: “I mean, you can, but you shouldn’t.”

Narcissistic Senior: “When someone’s interested in you it’s a turn on because you’re interested in you too, so you inherently have something in common.”

Horny Sophomore: “I look for eroticism in everything, and I’m just not that amped when I see the naked women outside Gund.”

Patriot: “God, I love constitution day. It’s my favorite day.”

Bed Sweater: “I’m so excited! I’m gonna sweat the bed so hard tonight!”

“It’s a nacho without cheese.”
  • “Does that mean a chip?”
  • “OK. Yes, I ate a chip.”
Google Addict: “That’s the best when you go buy sudafed, and you’re like ‘Wow, I’m gonna make a ton of meth.'”
Halloween Lover: “I will have no need to go to a haunted house if I go to the Foxhole.”
Sophomore Girl: “I’m a two sport athlete: dancing and drinking.”
Sexual Stoner: “I think high sex is the best kind to have when you’re first hooking up with someone unless their aura is too intense for you.”
First-year Dude who should lower his voice: “Easton is paradise. It has everything. I can buy things for the sake of buying things, and I finally feel at home.”
Lazy Individual: “I buy pre-popped popcorn.”
  • Friend: “Why? You don’t have a microwave?”
  • Lazy Individual: “No, I do. But, it’s hard. It takes a lot more work.”
Disgruntled Junior: “How do you know I’ve never taxodermied anything?”
Curious Senior: “Sometimes I accidentally say things really loud, and I wonder if they will end up on Overheard.”

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