AllStu Revue


“Is this AllStu?” “No, this is Patrick.”

Allstus this  year have been a little disappointing. Perhaps its the untimely death of allstu2, but there has been no flame wars or angry tirades crowding my Kenyon inbox. That being said, there’s still plenty of entertaining material to sift through, and I’m here to provide you with some highlights. (Just as a side note, you people are way too liberal with your use of exclamation points.)

Come Sit With Us! Apparently the Buddhist Society here on campus is much nicer than popular girl table at North Shore High School, which is nice to know. I bet they’d even let Regina George sit with them.

WANT FREE COOKIES!?!? Don’t play with my heart, Peer Counselors. You know damn well I want free food, especially if its cookies. Going all the way to the Aclands is quite the trek, though. I would have to put my pants on for that, and we both know that isn’t happening.

Nothing To Do Next Week??? Ha, good joke!

Hat!? No, this is Patrick.

I’ll Get You, My Pretty, And Your Little Dog, Too! Joke’s on you, lady. We aren’t allowed to have dogs here at school. Oh, and it rains all the time here. Have fun!

Come Travel The World Aladdin, is that you? The only way I choose to travel internationally is by magic carpet. No other form of transportation can really compare (even though you get tons of bugs stuck in your hair).

KENYON HORROR STORIES “And on the first day of second semester he walked into his first class to find that it was just him and all the girls he had ever hooked up with! AHHHHHH!”

CUPCAKE DECORATING!!!!!! I’m not so much interested in the decorating of the cupcakes as I am the eating. I’ll be happy to judge how well you did, though. Just send the cupcakes up to my room in Manning. I still haven’t put on my pants.

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