Conversation Starters at the Thanksgiving Dinner Table

A purrfect Thanksgiving is in your future, my friends.

A purrfect Thanksgiving is in your future, my friends.

Finally, Thanksgiving is upon us. Time to finish that last paper and pack those bags. Also, time to get conversing with your parents and family. Thanksgiving conversations at my home are always awkward. My family  approaches Thanksgiving conversations like any dinner conversation, which typically include my father giving us kids a talk about “how to be a good person in society.” This Thanksgiving will be especially interesting because it’s my first time home since leaving for college. I’ve been ruminating, and for all you Kenyon kids nervous about what to say when you’re not shoving turkey or potatoes in your mouth, I’ve got you covered.

Best Conversation Starters:

“Mom, you should have seen how beautiful the campus was when . . .”

This is a surefire way to get the parents going. Kenyon’s beauty is obvious and probably the least-disputed thing on campus. Pro-tip: Mention how pretty the snow looked on Middle Path. Parents love talking about how gorgeous Kenyon is and they will promptly take over the conversation, leaving you to eat in peace.

“D-Cat is so awesome. I saw him at [insert any event here]”

Parents (like students) just love D-Cat. D-Cat isn’t just a celebrity here on campus, our parents have been receiving information about him for months! Trust me, they will enjoy talking about the Inauguration and if you mention how much D-Cat’s speech inspired you to succeed in school, you’re golden.

Worst Conversation Starters:

“You know what these cranberries remind me of? That one time I drank cranberry-vodka mixed drinks in my buddy’s dorm room”

Parents get it. Kenyon has a drinking culture. Still, they probably don’t need to hear about how you stripped in Old Kenyon because the drink “overcame you.” Then again, this could end well. Maybe they will offer you some champagne because of your new “alcohol maturity.”

“Remember that Intro Italian class? Well I dropped it in September”

Parents want to know about classes, but letting them know that you dropped the class that would help you graduate isn’t such a great idea. Also, if classes for next semester aren’t such a hot topic with your parents, best to keep that out of the conversation and focus more on that “A” you got on your Sociology paper last week.

If all else fails, stuff your mouth with pumpkin pie and complement your parents on their cooking each time they ask you a question. Enjoy your break!

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