If you’ve been exploring with me up to this point, you already know that Kenyon can be a scary place. As it turns out, Kenyon is creepy place and may also take you to Narnia. Or another universe entirely.
The logical first stop is the Gates of Hell, but your intrepid explorer has, as always, dug deeper. My exploration began in the library, quietly shuffling among the study carrels to find….
Located by the basement elevator entrance, this door boasts a *very* disconcerting sign:
All crappy photography aside, these signs leave me with a few uncomfortable questions. What, exactly, is the library keeping that warrants a locked door and whimsically decorated sign? Is it a boiler room? Cerberus? A short cut to Oz?
Unable to discern much through the door’s tiny window, I moved on to Gund Gallery, hoping to relax in the quiet of the theatre lobby. Instead, I stumbled upon this disturbingly blank hallway:
I don’t know about you, my fellow explorer, but this reminds me entirely too much of the pre-bloodbath hallway at the end of Cabin in the Woods.
Besides constantly looking over my shoulder for this lady, I couldn’t shake the feeling that if I got through the key-card access doors I would fall down some sort of rabbit hole and end up drinking tea with Johnny Depp.
On second thought, I wonder where I could get one of those key cards…
Having already wandered through most of the academic houses already, I thought I had found all of the potential portals they could offer. Incorrect. While studying in the Horwitz House seminar room,
procrastination curiosity prompted me to open this cabinet:
And found this:
Now, I’m not afraid of dark corners or a little dust. I only barely scream at spiders before smashing them into oblivion. But that, my friends, is too damn much for me. I love ya’ll, but there was no way I was gonna stick my head through that hole and end up in Flying-Spaghetti-Monster-Knows-Where for your procrastinating pleasure. Suffice it to say that if there is a portal to Hell or anywhere else on campus, this is probably it.
Use this information as you will. As for me, I’m studying in the basement of the Hill from now on.