10 o’clock list: Best Places on Campus to Shoot a Porno

kenyon porno

I bet Zach and Miri wouldn’t have had any trouble finding a spot to shoot at Kenyon.

In my short time at Kenyon so far, I have deduced only two things for sure. The first: that Kenyon is a pretty damn picturesque place. The second: that Kenyon is down to fuck. Now imagine the epic combination of these two things. What do you get?

Kenyon’s Charming Aesthetic + Sex = Best Porn Ever

Don’t deny it. You’ve thought about it before. Unless you guys are lying on Kenyon Confessions, this campus is mega thirsty and frustrated. I would venture to say that the porn views per capita at Kenyon is quite high. Just walking around campus, it’s easy to scope out spots that would make a great setting for a porn vid. This place is chock full of them.

  1. Gund Gallery Lobby: Glass walls and sharp angles make this a prime location. The couches are super comfy and quiet to move around on. Plus, everyone looks better in natural light. I could totally see a super artsy, super raw scene going down here.

    The Gund Gallery lobby

    Look at that lighting!

  2. The KAC: Imagine: KenyonFit yoga teacher and pupil turn personal yoga lesson into a steamy romantic evening in the dance studio. That, or perhaps some lifeguard/swimmer action. The KAC is huge and full of kinky possibilities.

    KAC, sweet KAC

    KAC, sweet KAC.

  3. Wiggle Ground: This could go lots of different ways, but keep this in mind. Look at all that production value, waiting to have balls on it!

    Whatever name you call it, Wiggle Ground  undeniably has that small coffee shop charm.

    Whatever name you call it, Wiggle Ground undeniably has that small coffee shop charm.

  4. That one study room in 3rd floor Olin: I know I mention this blessing of a room way too much, but let me tell you something. You have never experienced comfort until you’ve written a paper nestled in one of those huge red chairs, which are conveniently big enough for two. Huge windows, huge chairs, huge potential.

    That chair though.

    That chair though.

  5. Sunset Point: Required to be shot at sunset. Super romantic evening on the bench au naturale. ‘Nuff said.

    So scenic.

    So scenic.

  6. Peirce Lounge: The first time I walked into Peirce Lounge, I was impressed. Way swankier than expected, it could be turned into a CEO’s office, or some sort of mansion living room. Plus that fireplace. So cozy. So versatile.

    Such class!

    Such class!

Keep in mind that this list isn’t exhaustive. It may be the best of the best, but there are so many other places. Kenyon Confessions taught us that the Adirondack chairs in the science quad are apparently fair game. Whether reading this has made you feel kind of gross or kind of aroused, the truth is out. Kenyon is the next locale for amateur porn.

6 responses

  1. always wanted to shoot a kenyon soft-core porn called “ne[u]rotica” where no one even manages to get fully undressed, much less climax

  2. Pingback: 10 o’clock list: 10 More Entertaining Searches That Led to The Thrill | The Thrill

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