If you are a human student on campus right now and you are in some sort of group affiliated with something, the chances are that you went to a formal this weekend. Everyone and their brother got dressed up this weekend for a prime showing of “Stilettos on Ice” as they shuffled determinedly down the Middle Path death trap in order to enjoy The Last Weekend Before Finals. Yet there were also a chosen few organizations that didn’t penguin down the ice luge toward the promise of champagne and revelry, and I am here to give them a voice make up reasons why they didn’t have formals.
1. KCET– So this is how I see this scenario going: due to inclement weather, the Kenyon College Equestrian Team was unable to drive their horses in from the Barn. Since you can’t have a respectable KCET party without horses for dates, this club unfortunately had to cancel at the last minute.
2. ResLife – ResLife was actually going to have a formal this year, but shortly after everything started, the CAs had to promptly write up every one of their underage members and call Campus Safety to shut down their own party.
3. The Budget Finance Committee – In an ironic twist, the budget finance committee forgot to set aside enough money for their formal and was left with only enough money for party horn and some streamers. Needless to say, the BFC decided to sit this formal season out.
4. The Quidditch Team – The Quidditch Team is either Kenyon’s most successful secret society, or they might not exist. Whatever the case, they didn’t invite me to their formal so I am assuming that they just didn’t have one.
5. Club Tennis – This one’s pretty simple. As per usual, club tennis just couldn’t get their shit together in time to have a formal. Way to go, club tennis.