The Real Stash Bash: How to Get Rid of Your Booze Before Break

alcohol-bottles

We’re almost there, guys! With the semester wrapping up and finals around the corner, those half-filled handles are probably staring you down from the corner of your closet. Not to fear, The Thrill is here with some expert tips on bashing (or maximum security re-stashing) that stash before break comes around.

For starters, you could drink it. Professors are probably twitchy eyed and red in the face reading that, but it is definitely an option. Everyone is shitting bricks before finals week and a lot of people don’t want to take time out of their studying for some quality drunken shenanigans. But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t! This weekend is the prime time to let loose with your friends and drink/dance/DFMO off those pre-finals nerves. If you’re burnt out from partying all semester, play a new drinking game or try a new mixer/chaser (one can only drink so many quarts of Sunny D). Just don’t go too hard or your valuable Sunday study hours will be wasted, hungover in your bed, eating bookstore ice cream and rewatching Breaking Bad. But if you really don’t want to turn it up the weekend before finals, there is still hope. You have several options.

Your friends have all gotten you insane holiday presents and you have nothing to give to them. Haven’t you seen Elf? “The best way to spread Christmas cheer is giving your friend all your beer!” Okay, Buddy didn’t quite say that, but you get the gist.  Alcohol makes a great gift. If you have a big bottle but not a lot of alcohol left, why not spend a little money on a flask  and pour it in there before giving it to them. A thoughtful gift that’s ready for action. Timeless.

Another possibility is to take your alcohol home with you. Bring it along to a Christmas party if you are of age and the bottle is full enough for it to be socially acceptable. Drink it with friends during your pre/post Christmas blowout or New Years extravaganza. If possible, find some way to rebottle it if you are flying. Glass bottles don’t always survive the trip home. And occasionally, these handles of vodka even mysteriously disappear from suitcases somewhere between the airport and home–so keep that in mind.

If your parents would annihilate you or you don’t want to risk taking it with you, hide it. Wrap it up in a blanket, put it in a bag, then in a box, then in another bigger bag. Then place the bundle in the way back of your closet, behind your bed, in your drawer underneath a lot of clothes. Whatever. The bottom line is: do something with it. Don’t just leave it out to get confiscated and get you in trouble. I don’t want to be the only one coming back from break stocked up, writeup-free, and ready to go.

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