Overheard at Kenyon: Finals Edition Part I
Given the emotional nature of this week, people start saying some pretty weird things. This week, we’re breaking Overheard in to two parts to aid in positive procrastination. Look for Part II tomorrow afternoon.
Senior Guy: “My white male privilege which stinks more than my shits.”
Dude #1: “Hey, are you blazering it tonight, man?”
- Dude #2: “Nah man, tonight’s not a night to blazer it.”
Desperate Pooper: “I don’t care if there’s an alien in the bathroom. I want to poop in peace!”
Proud Pathetic Person: “That sounds a little bit pathetic. But I do it, but I do it.”
Trend-Setter: “That’s not a trend–that’s just something I want to do.”
First-year: “I’ve been doing it wrong for my entire life.”
Rite Aid Shopper: “Every Thursday is Bacardi Thursday.”
Lonely Senior: “As a First Year you’re like ‘get away from my high school,’ as a senior you’re like ‘well, I’m lonely.”
Horny Classmate: “You know that he wrote a private sex scene for himself and doesn’t want to share it with the rest of the class.”
College Student (on Monday): “I haven’t had a drink since Saturday.”
- Friend: “What’re you doing? Are you OK?”
Senior, discussing New Years plans: “My parents and I started a tradition of drinking champagne and watching Arnold Schwarzenegger movies.”
Guy 1: Dude, I never get nervous when I talk to girls.
- Guy 2: What? How?
- Guy 1: I took AP Heartbreaker in high school.
- Guy 2: Ugh damn. They didn’t offer that my year.
Very upset boy on phone outside library: “No it’s like irony, mom. I-rah-nee. Do you even know what ironic statements are?!”
Sophomore Guy: “It’s like when the Grinch stole Christmas.”
Smarty-pants: “I came out of my mother’s vagina. I ain’t going back in one”
Observant Art Connoisseur: “I’ve never noticed how sculpted their butts are! What do you think they do?” [Ed: About the statues in front of Rosse]
D-Cat Supporter: “IF THE TORNADO KILLS ME I LEAVE EVERYTHING TO D-CAT!”
Troubled Senior during the tornado: “I want the government to know where I am at all times. You know my parents can’t keep tabs on me anymore.”
Senior Girl: “The government are my new parents.”
Sleep deprived senior: “They should get George Michael for send off.”
KAC Aficionado:“Sportsmanship, you cocksuckers!”