Overheard at Kenyon: Finals Edition Part II

via curiouscreatures.wordpress.com

via curiouscreatures.wordpress.com

Annnnd here’s part two. Finals make people say weird things.

Senior Girl: “Ughh. He’s totally not my type. Plus he’s gay. But I have the biggest crush on my professor!” [Ed.: Jeffrey Bowman?]

Observant Freshman: “Kenyon as a whole is just one giant ball of sexual tension.”

Film Major: “I bet the wife of the guy who owns Blockbuster was at first like “this is awesome” but is now like “this is balls.””

Senior Girl: “That’s no where near the problem area. I’d just be sitting with unbuttoned pants.”

Guy #1: “I like the name Annie.”

  • Guy #2: “Her name’s Andy.”
  • Guy #1: “Oh, I like the name Annie.”

Pessimistic West Coaster: “Having lived in LA for that long, you should know that all things are dead inside.”

Jealous English Major: “There are no Math majors. Why do they have so many nice things?”

Senior giving generous advice: “Come on! Chug until you really can’t breathe.”

Friend: “You just embodied everything that I hate.”

Emoji Pro: “Do you even have the emoji app?”

Maj. Abbrev-er: “My throaty throat hurts. I gotta take some vity c.”

Wiggin St. Goer: *sips latte* “Damn. That went down real smooth.”

Market Worker: “When the apple juice costs more than the liquor, that’s a scary day.” [Ed. Apple juice at the market actually does cost more than liquor.]

TaySwift Fan: “Kanye West probably doesn’t even know how to read.”

Junior Girl: “But really though. The Canadian healthcare system is based on sexual favors.”

Fashion-Conscious Senior: “You look like you’re going to really seductively work on a carburetor.”

Angry Midnight Breakfast-goer: “Tell him if he gets near me I have a plastic Peirce knife and I’m not afraid of cutting off dicks.”

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