“Oh God, they’re here. They’re finally here. After all this time to prepare, and I’ve done nothing. I’m about as prepared for finals as I was for Beyonce’s album. There’s only one thing that’s going to solve this. Hard work, studious dedication, or pizza. I think pizza. Definitely pizza, that sounds easier anyway.”
That’s usually my thought process around this time of year. I tend to stress eat my way through finals, and if you’re panic stricken and desperate like me, you probably do somewhat too. Here’s how I managed my stress eating last night preparing for my final today.
Ok 7 o’clock, time to get to work. If I’m going to shovel food into my mouth like I’m about to embark on a two week fast instead of a three hour test tomorrow, it may as well do some good for me, right? I’ll keep healthy snack food around you so when you break in “holy-crap-there’s-no-way-I’m-ready-for-this-exam” hunger, there’s a bag of carrots around instead of chips. You’ve got this Reed, it’ll work out fine…..
Ok, so all the carrots are gone now, and it’s only 7:10. Great. Finals are so hard, it’s just a heel of a week. But on the plus side, it is just five days, no matter how many papers I might have due afterwards. Displace the urge to chow down until next week, knowing that it’s right around the corner, and all the terrible, greasy, comfort food you could ever want is right there. Even if I never get around to it, knowing that all that glorious junk food is waiting for me in just one week’s time is comforting.
Mmmm..….Oh great, well, now I’m going to have to turn this in with a drool stain on it. Great work. Oh fantastic, it’s only 7:15, I’ve got so much work to do before the end of the night. I’ll Try to find something else to manage your stress levels. Get up and move around, meditate, do push ups, stare listlessly at a wall and dream about running ways to become a pirate. I wonder what pirates eat?
Oh right, weevil filled hard tac…how is it only 7:20?!…I can’t resist. If don’t have that candy bar waiting in the fridge in the next five minutes I’m going to shrivel in a desiccated husk. Ok, willpower time, Reed. Try to set aside a small enough part to satisfy your urge to stress eating, and put the rest someplace else. Out of sight, out of mind works pretty well for me, so if I don’t have the entire helping of whatever I’m munching in front of me, I won’t rummage around my disaster zone of a dorm room for it until later. So set aside a small amount of your stress attack food, wolf that down, and then let your natural apathy take its course. You can do it Reed. Just break off a little chuck and-ohgodIcan’tthis. *Devours the entire candy bar and immediately call Papa Johns.*
Hopefully you’re having a better time of it than I am. I’ll go back to my nail-biting, junk food devouring, sleep deprived manic zombie state I inhabit during finals week. Best of luck with all your tests/papers/final projects everybody. You’ve worked hard, and now it’s time to show it. And if you haven’t (like me), then may whatever your respective deity is have mercy on your GPA.