Beautiful childhood dreams, right?

Finals got you down? Grades not looking so good? Stop worrying! Life is still full of potential. Just look back at everything that you wanted to do as a kid and know that there’s still time.

1. Be a clown. Just in time to not finish your finals, you can get your online degree in clowning. It’s a cheaper alternative to liberal arts school and may have better job prospects.
2. Create a masterpiece. As an undeclared art history minor, I think I have the authority to tell you that it doesn’t always take skill to make significant piece of art.
3. Meet the love of your life. Prospects looking bad at Kenyon? Maybe they’ll be better at Clown School. Or in the real world. Or, if not, there are a lot of Bearded Collies who want to love you unconditionally and loyally.
4. Have a jam session with Bill Clinton. As I write this, he’s still alive. Since you’re reading this, you’re probably still alive. Just make sure that you invite me.

Bonus: Childhood dreams that have died:

1. Getting Social Security Benefits. 
2. Co-starring with Amanda Bynes in a buddy cop comedy.
3. The Jonas Brothers lasting forever (or at least until the year 3000).