Kenyon is somewhat unique amongst other liberal arts college campuses in that the town of Gambier separates its southern half from its northern half. While Gambier is a charming addition to the campus, the abrupt changes that come with the jurisdiction shift from Campus Safety to the Sheriff are often not as cute. Read on to keep yourself in the know and out of the slammer.
Action: Follow the law around in a mini cop car/Barbie Car.
Sheriff. Bad idea. Look–we get it–everybody has those “stick it to the man” moments. Maybe he gifted you with a parking ticket. Maybe he pulled you over mid-joyride on the tricycle. Tough luck. However, it’s still likely one of your worst (and funniest) ideas to date.
Campus Safety.Mmmmmaybe. They’d probably just chalk it up to drugs. Kenyon is kukoooo.
Action: Citizen’s Arrest.
Sheriff. What’s that? You like wearing stripes?
Campus Safety. Do you need to be good samaritaned?
Action: Underage Drinking.
Sheriff. Are you 21? No? Na na na na, na na na na, hey hey hey, goodbye.
Campus Safety. So long, farewell, Auf Wiedersehen, goodnight!
Action: “One of those weekends”: too drunk to move.
Campus Safety. To the rescue!
Sheriff. Why so intoxicated?
The Kenyon Thrill 
This is an absurd article. What does it mean?
the sheriff will arrest you
campus safety will help you
Once again, the thrill proving itself to be a completely useless source of news.
u know the thrill isnt just meant for news. have u not noticed the funny stuff/commentary on here like is u blind or somethin
At least he can spell.
Campus Safety is the best!
I thought we had Buzzfeed for this