An article was recently released on the top ten most haunted colleges in the Midwest, and Kenyon slid smoothly into first. And if you didn’t read that article, or weren’t already told the moment you stepped onto campus, then you are getting this info here first. I’m the first person to tell you. It’s as if I knew that Kenyon was haunted before anyone else. And are we really that surprised that I was the Nancy Drew of this situation, and you’re the dance teacher who lost her music tapes? Too obscure of a reference? I drop it after the jump!
What I’m saying, Dear Readers, is that Kenyon has been haunted for a long while and I know I have experienced it first hand, because when I flush the toilet in my New Apt, the pipes scream in a terrifying way and also my shampoo keeps running out way faster than I am using it, and I asked my roommate if she had been using it and she said “No,” and best friends don’t just lie to each other, so um Ghosts duh.
Other colleges were mentioned in the article such as St. Olaf in 6th (boring), Michigan State in 9th (who goes there, am I right), and Ripon College (probably doesn’t even exist), which came in second to our gleaming first place of NUMBER ONE MOST HAUNTED COLLEGE IN THE MIDWEST. Our diamond-encrusted trophy, that also doubles as a chandelier, comes in the mail next week, and I get to keep it because I practically discovered ghosts.