It’s hard out here for a cat.
Lately, the feral cats of Gambier seem to have disappeared. At least, to me. Maybe that’s because I haven’t been outside much. Then again, I’m never outside much. But anyways, I talked to some cats and they told me what they’ve been up to while it’s been very, very cold.
- At Easton, shopping for a new, super sexy outfit for Philander’s Ball. Because that’s where all the good tom cats will be caterwauling, if you catch my drift.
- Catching up on Downton Abbey. But I haven’t been so don’t you dare spoil anything in the comments.
- Writing Kenyon Confessions. Bam Bam got drunk and hooked up with one of those cats who live under Farr and just really wants her to notice him again, but she’s been ignoring him outside the Peirce dumpsters and it’s just been really hard, y’know? But it’s not like he can just, like talk to her. It’s complicated.
- Peeing on the snow outside Cromwell Cottage. They’ve been engaging in civil disobedience to show President Decatur that they’re not into the idea of paw scanners in the KAC.
- Chewing on your things. Yes, that’s the reason why your pillow is all messed up. Forgive your roommate, scorn cats, and move on.
The Kenyon Thrill 
Hello—
The above picture is not of a feral cat. Feral cats live in colonies and are so classified as “feral” because they do not allow humans to touch them. Ever. Also, you’re not likely to see a feral cat because they live in secrecy in the woods. The pictured cat is most likely a very frightened stray. I source Jessica from the Knox County Humane Society as giving me my knowledge on the subject.
Sincerely,
Lauren
It is a funny picture of a cat tho
6) Sneaking into Gund and making friends with the residents and Campus Safety
I am so proud.
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