Peirce Date: Love at First Sight

“Peirce Dates are back and accepting applicants who are not afraid of awkward conversations with strangers.  For those of our readers who are unfamiliar with The Thrill’s dating service, a Peirce Date is a lovely thing where the yentas at The Thrill set two people up on a blind date at Peirce, and then we find out how it went. Hilarity ensues.” – Leslie Martin ’14


Photo credit Leslie Martin ’14 (creator of the Peirce Date)

I think their date went fine. I don’t care. I got my heart broken. Have a nice time whatever blah blah blah.

Prospective Luv #1: Patience Fairbrother 1653523_10153747475560414_2445373_n

  1. Major: Psychology.
  2. Hometown: West Stockbridge, MA.
  3. Five words to describe yourself: Outgoing, fiery, sarcastic, adventurous, impatient (heh).
  4. Ideal date: Late-night-make-your-own-breakfast date. I’m passionate about breakfast foods. Also I love cooking. Probably that or anything involving an aquarium/zoo. 
  5. Your best pick-up line/ice breaker: Hey girl, do you have a Band-Aid? I accidentally scraped my knee when I fell for you.
  6. Dream date: Pat Catan’s. All I ever want to do is run around a craft store. Or anything involving alcohol and Netflix and lots of blankets. It’s COLD.
  7. What would you hope was being served in Peirce for this date: KUNG PAO CHICKEN. Or corn dogs. Nothing is more romantic than deep-fried meat on a stick.
  8. Best thing about Kenyon: Not to be that guy, but the people are really what do it for me.
  9. Worst thing about Kenyon: Health Center hours :(
  10. In 20 years you are…  Hopefully happily employed doing something I’m passionate about. Ideally with a nice lady in my life who will go on breakfast/zoo dates with me.

Prospective Luv #2: Meghan Surges


  1. Major: Undecided.
  2. Hometown: Portland, Maine.
  3. Five words to describe yourself: Observant, intuitive, curious, enthusiastic, scatterbrained.
  4. Ideal date: Picnicking somewhere warm.
  5. Best pick up line: Offering a bite of my candy necklace.
  6. Dream date: I’d like to go for a long walk or drive, headed nowhere in particular.
  7. What would you hope was being served in Peirce for this date?: DIY caramel apples.
  8. Best thing about Kenyon: Happy-go-lucky, positive people.
  9. Worst thing about Kenyon: There’s nowhere to hide.
  10. In 20 years you are: Who knows, I just hope that I’ll be doing something I really care about!

Meghan walked in like a mist was pushing her along. My palms got sweaty and I think I had hives. I didn’t know what to expect of this Peirce date, and it was my first ever arranged date. She seemed so nice and I just wanted this to be a forever kind of love, you know?

Meghan asked me if her date had arrived and I laughed because I figured it was just a weird joke. She told me she would go get food while she waited for her date to get there. Another weird joke. I wasn’t looking for her to be funny. Women are NEVER funny. I laughed again to make her feel okay.

Patience then walked through the doors as well, looking nice if you’re into that sort of thing. I don’t know. She asked me where her Peirce date was. I stood, numb, as all of the pieces began to click together. I wasn’t the person going on the Peirce date. I was the facilitator. The prop. No one wanted me. I couldn’t respond because I felt nothing. I let her figure it out on her own because she stole the only person I ever loved.

When they finally sat down, they seemed to have a nice enough time. They laughed a bunch but I don’t know what about because seriously, I stared at Meghan the whole time. She kept looking in my direction and smiling, but I found out her best friend was sitting behind me.

I asked them about their date afterwards and it just felt like salt on an open wound.

photo (5)

She’s not looking at me in this photo but she probably wanted to.

Meghan’s Assessment

What did you guys talk about?:  We talked about our metaphysical selves and the spiritual journeys that we are on. We talked about pets, exotic pets, and our second grade selves.

What did you have to eat?: Pizza, but it got really cold because we were talking for so long.

Would you go on a second date with this person?: No doubt.

Patience’s Assessment

What did you guys talk about?: My favorite thing that she asked me was, “What were you like in second grade?” I have no interest in getting to know people that were cool when they were younger. We were both dweebs. She used to make dioramas and I used to sing by myself on the swing set.

Would you go on a second date with this person?: I’ll go on a date again, yeah!

Do you have anything you wish you could redo?: Well she was all cute and like, “I always dress the same, but I tried to mix it up for the date.” Whereas I was essentially wearing my PJs.

So their first date went great, but my mom says that doesn’t mean I’m not a good person.

4 responses

    • Just email with “Peirce Date” in the email title, and fill out the answers to the questionnaire below —

      Ideal date
      Where to find you on a Saturday night
      Best thing about Kenyon
      Worst thing about Kenyon
      Your best pick-up line/ice-breaker
      Describe yourself in terms of food
      In 20 years you are…

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