February is a make it or break it kind of month. At this point in the year, you either resign yourself to watching videos of cats shredding toilet paper on Youtube, or you get your game face on– that is, your pre-game face. Drinking in the confines of your dungeon of a dorm room can certainly be monotonous, but there are ways to fix this. For example, toasts. A pre-gulp toast makes drinking any variety of liquid more exciting. HOWEVER, we’re far beyond the jaded bottoms up! or even worse, cheers! (what are you a mid-century aristocrat?). Time to let the creative juices flow–that’s right–we’re here with some straight-up juicy ideas for atypical toasts. Sit your nether-regions down and pick your glasses up — get ready to make the most(s) out of your toasts.
- To the hairy ankles of February! But really. Who’s shaving right now? Might as well raise your glass to your bewhiskered extremities while you still can–after all–we’re just a hair away from spring. That means that, uh, knee beard is probably going to have to make an exit.
- To our lord and savior, the Peirce panini press. Talk about one toasty toast. Mmm. Try something like: I like the way you put lines on my bread, I like the way you make me get out of bed. I like the crunch you put in my lunch, it makes me smile as I munch, munch. It’s like a soft caress, I must confess. And for that reason, it’s you we must bless. Our savior from bad days in Peirce, thy panini press.
- To Dominos. Shit! They close at 1:00! ORDER NOW.
- To Chef Meagan! Because she’s a nice lady.
- To motivation and creativity. And the hope that they decide to make an appearance before midterms. Like, really. We’re begging.