1. Subject: Snow Day-Wed. 2-5-14- Level 2 Snow Emergency

Body: Haha hope you like ice, bitchez.

 I don’t mean to beat a dead horse but this is a dead horse that I’m still really mad about and I’m going to talk about it until I graduate.

2. Subject: BODY FOUND IN BUSHNELL SUPPLY CLOSET

Body: …………is a band coming to The Horn this weekend!!!

3. Subject: Shh, don’t tell anyone…

Body: …that you’re invited to this but so is everyone else. <3 Scott

Scott Layson is the sneakiest goddamn Kenyon emailer that ever Kenyon emailed and I’m going to start deleting them solely for the principle of the thing. I truly thought that this was a real secret… and I was ready to tell everyone.

4. Subject: Re: [Student-Info] Stories from a glacier – Sunday at the BFEC

Body: Ohio used to have some.

So no one in this talk saw a glacier? We’re just gonna talk about how you know about glaciers? Don’t tell me that we’re going to talk about glaciers and then not have any glaciers to show for it.  This isn’t petty right? HAHA, we all felt passionate about this right? All of us together? All of us as friends forever?

5. Subject: Free Dessert in Gund

Body: Please bring an original copy of your birth certificate, verification of your blood type, a parent to consent your consumption of refined sugars, and a willingness to take an oath, promising to be a CA until you graduate.