1984: A Kenyon Dystopia

courtesy of the Kenyon College Archives

courtesy of the Kenyon College Archives

In the year MCMLXXXIV, Reagan was in office, and on a small hill in the middle of rural Ohio, Kenyon College was much the same as it has been. But! Behold! The Kenyon College 1984-1985 Student Handbook, found in the attic of one of our esteemed editors! A treasure trove of idiosyncrasies, lax moralities and low, low meal prices.

Here are some gems, for your reading pleasure.

  • Painting of residence rooms. Students who wish to paint their quarters, or have them painted, must make arrangements with the of the Assistant Dean for Student residences where copies of the College’s room painting policy are available. 
  • Water mattresses. Water furniture will not be permitted in student residences unless permission is granted by the Office of the Assistant Dean for Student Residences.
  • Gambling. The lounges and other public areas may not be used for any form of gambling.

And some defunct clubs.

  • The Fourth Floor Gallery. Fine Arts found a home in fourth floor Mather, of all godforsaken places. [Ed: That’s almost as cool as the gallery I saw in a New Apt. bathroom]
  • Gambier Experimental College. “An exchange of creativity.”
  • The Generics. “A male a cappella singing group specializing in Rock and Roll tunes from the fifties and early sixties.” Note: this sounds nice, actually.
  • Respect Life Group. “Concerned with human life issues such as abortion, euthanasia, infanticide, etc.” ETC.?
  • The Kenyon Water Polo Club.

3 responses

  1. The Water Polo Club was quite talented, as you’d imagine with Kenyon swimmers. If I’m recalling the date correctly, I think they went on to win Regionals (the highest level they could reach) in spring of ’82 under Steve Counsel’s leadership. Greg Parini and Alex Veylupek were on that team too.

    The Generics were fun. Inspired by the advent of generic beer which had just come around that time. They covered doo wop songs and Dion, so things “Runaround Sue” and “I Only Have Eyes For You.”

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