Philander’s Ball: High School Homecoming in Disguise

Ah, high-school dances, you never know when another is going to creep into your life.

Ah, high-school dances —  you never know when another is going to creep into your life.

For those of you who attended the ball this past weekend, you most likely felt a sense of déjà vu the minute you walked into the KAC. A gym. A dance where alcohol is prohibited. A date you probably didn’t want. Sound familiar? I bring you to your high school homecoming dance.

Entering The Dance — The first thing you got at the ball, and at homecoming, was a lovely “pat-down” for flasks where you try to act as sober as possible. No one really wants to enter the dance, and everyone wants praise for his or her outfit. Squeals of names and hugs are passed. You go to the bathroom with your friends to stare at each other in the mirror while re-applying lip gloss for the sixth time.

The Dance Floor — You hit the dance floor, thinking you look fierce as you strut inside and see a stage and a small cluster of people “dancing.” Upperclassmen take the stage in the beginning, though gutsy freshmen take it over by the end of the night. Couples are grinding so much you feel sorry for the clothing trapped between them. You started the night envisioning a knight or princess whisking you off your feet, but realize your buzz has worn off and you’re dancing with a rando. You decide you’d rather eat with your friends than have a sub-par hookup anyway, so you run away.

After Dance — After homecoming you tried to find an after party, but instead went to Silver Diner. However, now Cove is the après-dance place to go in Gambier. After heaps of fried food you collapse into your bed. Despite the hangover and smeared makeup, you wake up smiling because you remember dancing with your friends to the one Beyoncé song the DJ played. However, the magic of the homecoming/ball is over, and you have homework to do.

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