Rather than the typical black Northface and wallet, somebody lost an 8×10 portrait of the Nuge last weekend. It was late Sunday afternoon when Dyer Pierce ’14 emailed the student body to inquire if anybody had lost a picture of Former President S. Georgia Nugent near the New Apts parking lot. In the usual sea of pleas for lost jackets, phones, keys, wallets, hats, and friends, Pierce’s email stood out. HAHAHA what. Why would you have a portrait of the Nuge? Well, nobody seems to know–and so far, nobody has claimed the portrait. In an attempt at investigative journalism, we present some speculation about the scene of the crime and its victim:
- It’s like Stonehenge. Nobody knows how it got there. Nobody knows what it means. Aliens? Definitely Aliens.
- It was for a theme party. You know, the type of party where you drink some creative juices and interpretive dance around the close-up of a former college president. You know.
- It was the Illuminati. THEY DID IT AND I KNOW IT.
- It was The Thrill. We ran out of features for this week so we created our own. Except we didn’t.
- It’s a new take on an old campaign. Campus feminists decided to forgo their “This is what a feminist looks like” laptop stickers and moved toward a more literal campaign.
Thoughts? Speculations? Tell us in the comments.
My, what a dreadful photo. And what’s the finger doing there? I’m sure it’s the work of the Illuminati.
thank uou miss nugyetn for your photo :) i can put some nails in it ang it awall :)
6.) A drunk kid from new apts was safe riding home from Sam Ebert, Lucas, and Danger’s Taft where he stole a picture of the Nuge. He got so caught up drunkenly talking to the Delts that he left it in the car or somewhere along the way…
Yes, the photo is mine. To the perpetrator:
I don’t know who you are. I don’t know what you want. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don’t have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let the Nuge go now, that’ll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don’t, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you.
So reassuring to know that you’ve got my back, Sam. And do you take your martinis shaken or stirred?