How To Be A Person: Spring-Break Flight Etiquette

We are so close to Spring Break, guys. As long as we don’t keel over from stress and boredom this week, we’ll be binge-watching a new show on Netflix by this time next Monday. But first, we have to traverse one of several mediums of travel. If you are lucky enough to live close to Gambier, consider yourself blessed. Airports suck. But here’s how to make them suck a little less — AKA How to Airport.

Arrive early

As a rule, you should be getting to the airport at least two hours early for your flight, and earlier if your flight is international. Airports have a very steady flow of traffic and function, but that flow is very fragile and easily disrupted. Dealing with those disruptions is much easier if you are present for them. Book those shuttles and cabs accordingly.

Arrive security-ready

No one wants to wait for Mr. and Ms. Fancy Pants to take off their metal jewelry and complicated shoes. The airport isn’t a fashion show, and it really does affect other people negatively if you treat it like one. In the same vein, check your carry-on bag and pockets beforehand to make sure you aren’t toting any contraband items. Accidentally carrying on that Kenyon snow globe you bought your little sister from the Bookstore doesn’t bode well for travel efficiency.

Don’t be a jackass

The people who work at airports have a lot of power over you. Don’t be rude to TSA agents, make inappropriate jokes, or give them any reason to pay special attention to you. This also goes for your fellow travelers. Don’t be rude to the people you are going to spend several hours in close quarters with. Don’t take up seats with just your bags. Don’t eat super-smelly food on the airplane. Don’t get angry at babies, because yeah, they are smelly and loud, but so were you way back when. Just put in your headphones and drown it out.

Be patient

If something goes wrong (which it most likely will, at some point), it does nobody any good to get frustrated and be that person yelling at the airline customer service desk. Stay calm. Everyone else is in just as much of a rush as you are. Delays happen. Cancellations happen. But there’s nothing that a bit of patience and strategic action can’t fix. Don’t be afraid to politely ask for help from airline employees.

There are so many things to do and remember at the airport, but if you keep to these four things, you can’t go wrong. Travelling intelligently, safely, and respectfully ensures that you won’t run into any major problems. As long as you use these skills, it’ll all go smoothly and you’ll be eating Cheez-Its and playing The Sims all day in no time.

2 responses

  1. Don’t be rude. DOn’t be rude, dude. Don’t bee a dood, Rude. Look out for the dooves, mood. They onlyl sqauwk once!

  2. You can get to the Columbus airport 30min before your boarding time and still be okay. It’s that dinky a place. Even at O’Hare you only need an hour unless you’re going international. 2 hours is boring and a long time sitting in bad chairs.

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