You may be aware of the campaign to ban the word “bossy”, spearheaded by Facebook COO Sheryl Sandberg and endorsed by celebs from Beyoncé to Condoleezza Rice. You may also be aware that it’s late March, which means that prospies are gracing our fair campus, springing up like sweaty, terrified crocuses trying to pretend they’re not here with their parents.
I think there’s only one option here — let’s team up to bring some of the #banbossy spirit to bear on Prosppocalypse this year and eradicate the cliché of the typical Kenyon student as “quirky” once and for all.
Tour guides, admissions fellows, overnight hosts, Lunch Buddies, I beg of you — in the coming days and weeks, refrain from selling Kenyon to prospies with “Yeah, it’s great here because the student body is just so quirky!” Stop pointing to John Green, the Great Hall’s resemblance to Hogwarts and the wacky existence of Midnight Breakfast as evidence of kwintessential Kenyon kwirk.
Sure, maybe you’re selling the parents, but it just sets the prospies up to fail when they begin to imagine Kenyon as a land of limitless special-snowflake-ness and dancing-through-Kokosing-riverbeds and designing-your-own-curriculum-from-scratch. Next thing you know, they’re second-semester sophomores spending three nights a week in the library until the 2 a.m. nerd bell chimes, looking back and thinking, “Why the fuck did I let that bubbly tour guide convince me that Kenyon isn’t like a regular school, it’s a cool school?”
Don’t get me wrong, a dash of whimsy is all fine and good, but let’s see if we can all get through this admissions season intact without once uttering the word “quirky” in earnest. Godspeed, Kenyon. I know we can do this.