As it happens, the Chamber Singers have a unique tradition designed to discourage misplacing things: the unfortunate must retrieve their lost object from beneath a small, frowning gorilla while their peers sing what is known as the “Walk of Shame” (this is not falsified information). However, even this did not prevent the Singers from losing quite a lot of sheet music, several water bottles, a pair of eyelash curlers, pretty nice headphones, an entire tuxedo and a pair of boxers while on tour this year. The boxers’ anonymous owner felt so much shame that they have still gone unclaimed.
Liberal arts students have critical thinking skills that bridge academic disciplines… and apparently a talent for losing what’s most important:
- Small important things: You know it’s a Sunday when every six out of 10 allstus are lost key and K-Card pleas.
- Underwear: Actually a serious and worrisome epidemic on this wintry campus.
- Large important things: The other four all-stus are for lost black North Face jackets.
- Beer cans: We could all try a little harder not to misplace our aluminum on its way to the recycling bin.
- An accurate sense of the passage of time: A Kenyon phenomenon in which February lasts nine years but March, nine seconds.
- Certainty: Much like my philosophy class, Kenyon at large can make me feel proportionally educated and confused. If one follows the course of reason, it can’t be known for certain whether anything actually exists — although it probably does. If one follows the course of reason, stepping on the Peirce seal will only result in the seal getting dirtier — but am I going to step on it? No.