Overheard at Kenyon: “Bring Me The Petrified Heart of John Crowe Ransom”

Dead-Ringer-Jeremy-Irons_610

Sure.

Angry Partyboy at Housing Lottery, watching luckier group go up to receive NCA — “But they don’t even party!!!”

Film Aficionado on Peirce Couches — “Yeah, it’s a really great movie. Basically, Jeremy Irons plays twin gynecologists.”

World-Weary Thrill Staffer in Servery — “I don’t want to alienate our older Japanese male audience.”

Straight-up Weirdo on Middle Path — “Bring me the petrified heart of John Crowe Ransom.”

Sore Loser at VI Trivia — “Ugh, I hate that you’re smart.”

Admirably Honest Junior on South Quad — “Oh, did I not tell you? I suck now.”

Boldly Sex-Positive Lady in New Apts. — “I’ve decided. My porn name will be Polly Amorous.”

Budding Steinem in Science Quad — “God, I fucking love gender. It’s always the part of any paper I write where, no matter how bad the rest of it is, I’m just like OK, STEP ASIDE. TRY AND TELL ME I’M WRONG.”

Professional Party Planner outside Horn Gallery — “I think instead of Shock Your Mom this weekend, we’re going to throw Calm Your Dad.”

  • Intrigued Friend — “What’s that?”
  • PPP — “It’s where you wear cargo shorts with high socks, and listen to Steely Dan, and maybe smoke a joint, but nothing crazy, just drink a few beers.”

Hyper, Glittery First-Years in Mosh Pit at Deb Ball, Clutching One Another — “I LOVE YOU GUYS SO MUCH!!!”

  • Sour, Glittery Juniors, overhearing — “Oh my God. No.”

Insecure Scholar in Ascension — “Do I look like Nikita Kruschchev?”

 

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