As we enter into Sendoff week, it appears that nice weather has finally arrived. And with the arrival of 70-degree weather comes the return of sundresses! Yes, you heard me: sundresses! From Tafts to suburbia, the campus is flooded with young ladies prancing about in dresses, which are cut from the softest cotton (or a polyester spandex blend), fall right above the knee (or a little bit lower or higher) and float blissfully just above the skin. The season of exposed skin has made it’s entrance.
Now it has come to my attention that the secret to successful and carefree sundress-times is not known to the whole population. This concerns me. It worries me. And I’m gonna be upfront about it, it makes me think about the state of our community at large. That’s right — I’m worried about our moral fiber. So for the love of all that is good on our magic mountain top, please follow my suggestion.
I’m going to say a word and I want you to write it down. Are you ready? Shorts. Yes, shorts. But Thrill-matriarch, I want to wear my floral baby-doll dress! We know you do and we want you to wear that, too. But hear me out: wear shorts under your dress. But that will look so incredibly chunky — and not in a good way! Not jorts. Shorts that are closer to bike shorts than jorts. Just step into comfort and style by wearing stretchy lil’ shorts under your dress. You’re going to love it!
- No butt hanging out. This can happen at any time If your backside is exposed at any point while wearing the shorts-dress combination, no one will even notice because your bottom will be covered.
- No backup exposing your bottom. I see this problem more often than I would like around campus. But with the shorts under the dress, your underwear (or lack there of) is kept a secret.
- No accidentally flashing people when you sit down. There will be a lot of standing, sitting and moving between those two states during Sendoff.
- Reduces the air circulation around your nether regions.
If you do not already own a pair of bike-shorts, volleyball spandex or workout spandex, I recommending trying out Spanx (very constricting — but very effective), Jockey’s Skimmies (comes in different sizes, lengths and colors) and you can spend much less on a pair of Spanx from one of our local vendors.