Ahh the joys and terrors of first Sendoff (via kenyon.edu)

Sendoff is undoubtedly the best party of the year. After a year of “getting used to” the Kenyon lifestyle, first-years still see the party as a mythic dream waiting to happen. Here is a narrative piece from two of our first-year writers on their first Sendoff experience.

Expectations:

First-Year 1:

• Circle up Woodstock-esque with everyone as we braid each other’s hair
• Constant tequila shots and frozen drinks
• Everyone basking in the sun with flower crowns and bathing suits

First-Year 2:

• A lot of the alcohol I would consume would not be mine
• Going to class drunk would be a lot of fun
• Sleigh Bells would be awesome

Reality:

 FY1: When I woke up Friday morning to rain and clouds, I looked at my cute Coachella-style outfit and had a small cry. This ended after about five seconds when I realized I could still drink a mimosa for breakfast. To be honest, even the rain was nothing compared to Peirce at 6:30 p.m. on Friday. I entered New Side with a lovely buzz and suddenly the new food arrangement and plethora of sparkles sent me into a terror. I stood in the doorway for a few moments with my jaw dropped, and perhaps it was the vodka, but I was convinced that the world and a girl in my dorm were out to get me.

FY2: My first Sendoff memory ever: Friday. I looked at the clock, noticed it was 1 p.m., and realized that I had just drank an entire 1.5 liters of Barefoot Pinot Grigio by myself in the span of 20 minutes. “Sendofffffff forevaaaaaaaa,” I vapidly laughed to myself. Now was the time for me to stumble to Peirce and find my friend so we could go to our 2:10 class. We were both considerably inebriated, and definitely not the only ones in that class who were shirking sobriety. It was a solid hour-and-a-half of tomfoolery that included incessantly laughing at the professor and writing hilariously incoherent notes.

FY1: Little did I know my fears would come true. My friends and I went to the photo booth to take a classic first Sendoff picture and after we came out I offered a beautiful, innocent mustache cut-out to the girl behind us, and my Sendoff dreams were cut short as she called the mustache “basic.” Oh well, I thought, you can’t trust anyone in an Urban Outfitters flower crown anyway. Girl, BYE.

FY2: FY1 and I were hanging out for most of Sendoff with our group of friends who will all be living together next year (Suite Life). We had a pregame in my room which meant me drinking even more, which was probably not the best idea. I might have forgotten the “marathon, not a sprint” shebang and had to boot ‘n rally. My watermelon Bacardi was just too damn good. And, on that note, almost all of the alcohol I had throughout the weekend was my own. Expectation not met. Plus there was that poophead girl at the photo booth who called FY1 basic and made fun of our other friend. Like, BYE, you lose at Sendoff.

FY1: We then went onward to the concert, and although I initially was caught off guard by the opening act, once Sleigh Bells came on everything came together. Well, literally things came together because suddenly we weren’t at Sendoff anymore but in a Kenyon Fight Club that specialized in pushing and aggressively crowd-surfing. Expectation of a “Sendoff of love and flowers” not met. However, despite the crazy crowd and humidity, our night ended as all other nights do — with Papa John’s.

FY2: We had a killer time at Sleigh Bells, if you don’t count the crazy people trying to mosh and crowd surf. To that one guy who kept bringing down his arm on top of me and enveloping me in your nasty armpit … ugh. But it’s okay because Alexis killed it on stage as always and I was left deafened yet content. Not to mention we got the most satisfying pizza ever afterwards.

FY1: So I guess the reality of Sendoff is that we get to spend time with friends and get completely out of our minds at the same time. Now besides talking about hangovers and all the homework we didn’t do, first-years are only wondering one thing: why can’t we do this all the time?

FY2: Sendoff is the perfect excuse to live out our desires for mildly non-normative alcohol use in a short span of time. In other words: drink, party, drink some more, party some more, drink until you can’t, party until you need to drink more, drink while you party, drink until you sleep, drink while you sleep, sleep while you party? What.