Look at ’em

Sexually repressed boy in Bookstore: “I have been so wet for so long.”

Impressed-yet-backhanded compliment from a Peirce-goer: “You sound like a really intelligent speech bot.”

The favorite child: “My mom never made my brother a stocking, so he just uses the one for our dead dog, Buster.”

Aroused psychopath: “But face planting is hot…”

A student with an overly ambitious mother: “When my brother was in eighth grade, the school sent a form home asking what name my mom wanted to be on the diploma. She wrote ‘Richard M. Nixon’ and send it back.”

Perceptive professor in the Pub: “There’s all males watching hockey! There’s no females watching hockey!”

Perceptive girls watching a viral video: “Look at all the white children!”

People studying hard: “We spent an hour trying to look at his ass.”