If you’re looking forward to an AMAZING NIGHT filled with FUN, FRIENDS and COLORED MARKERS, tone it the fuck down. Highlighter isn’t going to be the college party of your dreams; it’s going to be a weird, smelly mess. Not to worry, though! Messes can be a-okay if you know how to handle them. We here at The Thrill have highlighted a few of tonight’s inevitabilities and have provided some cute little tips to help you keep your shit together.
- You will have a penis drawn on you. I don’t care how, I don’t care where, and I don’t care when. It’s going to happen. No matter how anatomically detailed your shirt-penis is, laugh it off. You’ll probably throw both the shirt and its genitals away in the morning, anyway.*
- You will post photos of yourself on Instagram before or during the party. It’s horrifyingly cliché, and you’ll regret it within the week. Look at it as a learning experience. All of us Thrill writers did.
- You will lose your highlighter. Don’t get too attached to it. You’ll find another marker on the ground within thirty seconds of losing your own.
- You will hook up with someone on your hall. Wake up Sunday morning, take a shower, and move on. Wave to your sexy buddy in the servery. Smile. You have better things to think about.
- You will sweat off every single doodle on your t-shirt. Don’t stress about it. Most of them were probably vulgar. And besides, the night is all about making friends and fancy dancing and regretting your life choices.
- You will say stupid shit. And we will make fun of it.
* If you’re seriously uncomfortable, talk to your CA or a Sexual Misconduct Advisor.