I’m Confused, Peirce.

Is this one for eating? By me? Can I eat it?

Is this one for eating? By me? Can I eat it?

Because of local foods week, lavish displays of beautiful, locally-grown produce have been decorating Peirce since Monday. Yesterday it was buckets and buckets of beautiful peppers, tomatoes and corn maybe. Today, apples upon apples. (Also, there was some kind of fancy lunch where really pretty desserts were served.) In light of all this, I must ask: are any of these things for the taking? Can I eat them maybe? With my mouth? Or take them home and eat them later also with my mouth? What is for me? Here are some examples of things I want to take:

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Can I carve this pumpkin or make a festive pie out of its flesh? I want to put it in my room because it reminds me of pretty autumn things. Can I take it?

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How about this whole bucket of apples? Maybe they could be in my fridge at home? Can I take them?

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What about this huge bucket of peppers/mushrooms/truffles/wrinkly old dog tails? They look yummy and also pretty. Does my meal plan cover mason jars? Can I take it?

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I think this is ginger or a potato. It kind of looks like a small friend. Can I name him Paul? Can he go on walks with me? Can he play Super Smash Bros. Melee with me? Can I take it?

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I know this small little buddy is not a food, but can I take it anyway? When I have sad days, maybe it could tell me nice things and hang out with me. Also, I think it’s solar powered so it waves like it’s saying, “Yay! Everything’s very okay!” Can I take it?

Please respond ASAP, Peirce.

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