10 o’clock list: A Guide to Being Awkward at Parties

For those of you who have been struggling, here’s a little guide to being awkward at parties:

  1. Bring your own box of Franzia. It’s like an alcohol briefcase.
  2. Go to Old K just to steal a box of pizza. You’ve got to get there early, and then befriend whoever is hosting the party so that when you sneakily leave ten minutes later with a box of fresh pepperoni, no one will try to take it from you.
  3. Bring a boom box like in Say Anything and try to serenade the object of your affection in the middle of the party. I’m not sure who will feel more uncomfortable, but I’m excited to watch.
  4. Have too many (so, more than one) Long Islands at the Cove. You may not feel awkward that night, but you’ll feel awkward in the morning.
  5. Talk about how many times you’ve cried watching Toy Story 3

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