This post was co-authored by Gracie Potter ’17 and Molly Narkis ’17.
As (ex?) Taco Bell addicts, both Molly and I were enormously excited for Taco Tuesday in Peirce. After meeting on New Side, we practically skipped to the servery, anxious to get our ground-beef-n-cheese on. We picked two of our most favoritest Taco Bell menu items to recreate using the plethora of Tex-Mex-esque ingredients available to us: The Cheesy Gordita Crunch and the Crunchwrap Supreme (or, as Ally Schmalling ’14 affectionally called it, the “Food Frisbee”).
Creation #1: The Goddamn Crunchwrap
by Gracie Potter
Make it like this:
- Nab a huge-ass tortilla from the sandwich department. Slap that puppy down on a plate and rush your butt over to the International section.
- Throw down some ground beef in the center of your tortilla. Make sure the circumference of your meat circle doesn’t exceed that of the inner part of the plate. Head to the cold wells fulla taco toppings, but grab a taco shell and snap it in half before you go.
- Pile on (in order): Sour cream, lettuce, the broken taco shell, salsa, and cheese. Lookin’ good already.
- Fold your tortilla in a circular pattern. Use this hilarious video as your guide if you need a visual aid or if you just crave the simple pleasure derived from getting chastised by a virtual woman.
- Panini press that good good. I recommend going with two pieces of wax paper for this job. Your big-ass food frisbee might not succumb to the will of just one.
- Put it in your mouth hole. Mmmmmmmmmm.
When I took my first bite of this masterpiece, the only thing I could do to express my emotions was let loose a string of profanity so strong it would make my mother blush. It tasted. So. Freakin’. Good. The Peircecrunch Wrap-a-thon (that’s its name now, embrace it) was by far my best Peirce creation to date.
Creation #2: The Cheesy Gordita Oh-My-God-This-Actually-Worked Crunch
by Molly Narkis
- Grab a not-so-huge-ass tortilla from the taco station. Cover it with a heaping of shredded cheddar from the salad bar.
- Put it flat, cheese side up, between two sheets of wax paper. Panini press the living shit out of it. And by that I mean use the flat press and don’t push down, just let the top part sit lightly on the cheese.
- Peel off the top wax paper sheet. Make sure the cheese stays on the tortilla because, well, that’s the whole point.
- Take a hard taco shell from the taco station and fold the melted cheese covered soft tortilla around it. Think of it as a nice cheesy hug.
- Fill the taco shell with some meat and other assorted taco fodder. You have full creative control here. Don’t let us down.
- Shove the whole thing in your mouth and like maybe die but it was worth it because you got to taste this delicious thing for five seconds. Yeah.
That’s basically what happened to me. It was perhaps the best thing that’s happened to me thus far. It tasted eerily like Taco Bell’s own Cheesy Gordita Crunch and man, I kinda love those things. Gracie shouted to me across New Side about her tenouttaten meal as I was mid-devour and with a mouth full of meat, I silently concurred. Best meal, best meal. Tenouttaten. Fin.