How to Be a Person: Cleaning Up your Lady Beetles



This post was co-authored by Gracie Potter ’17, Jack Quigley ’16 and Molly Narkis ’17.

Do you feel itchy most of the time? Are you constantly cold and sweaty? Does it feel like bugs are crawling all over your exposed skin? If you don’t have a drug problem, you’re probably just terrified of Asian Lady Beetles. It’s no secret that this campus suffers from an extreme infestation; nearly everyone has found at least one of these little bug-bugs all up in their biz-nass at some point or another. Not to worry, though! These creepy crawlies are easily dealt with if you know the right techniques. A few of our editors have teamed up in order to share their most effective beetle eradication strategies.

Quigley: I’ve seen a variety of approaches in Old Kenyon in regards to dealing with Lady Beetles. They range from holding cups filled with a mixture of beer and dip spit up to the ceiling to drown them in to purchasing a handheld vacuum on Amazon to suck them all up. Each method has a varying level of success. Also, every room in Old Kenyon is on a different level in terms of infestation. Personally, I don’t really mind them. I don’t bother them and they, in return, don’t bother me. My roommate, however, has recently taken to vacuuming them up and dumping them in the bathroom.

Narkis: If you know me at all, you know I’m a pretty avid lady beetle hater. Taking that into account, last year my roommate and I developed a pretty intense but simple method of wrecking these stinky little nuggets in one fell swoop. Trust me, this almost always works.
Take a hefty slice of duct tape, preferably the less sticky and less useful but more aesthetically pleasing Duck Tape. Roll it so that it’s in a loop with the sticky side out. If the beetle is reachable, put the loop around some of your fingers so you can lightly stick it to the tape. If it’s not reachable, take a long object (we used a Swiffer floor duster) and attach the loop to the end of it. With your newly fashioned adhesive javelin, channel your inner warrior and lightly joust the thing. Now that it’s attached to the tape and it’s not crushed (hopefully), it can’t roll around and spill its guts everywhere and stink up your room. Pay some respects and then toss it in the trash. Have Febreeze on hand just in case. Keep on fighting the good fight.
Potter: I have to be blunt – stupid dumb beetles haven’t really been pervasive in my life up to this point. Last week, though, an old guy vacuumed out my neighbor’s room while they weren’t there. I’m assuming they either had a problem with beetles or a problem involving an obtrusive man with a cleaning fetish. Regardless, something terrible was happening.

After browsing r/WTF for a couple minutes, I found out that all bugs are scary and horrifying and that no one should ever sleep because big huge creepy crawlies with tentacles are going to come and infect us with weird pus-filled sores when we least expect it. I also found one guy who caught a bunch of maggots or flies or something with a three-gallon drum filled with vinegar and soap. Maybe you could try that if you want to.

Those are the only bug evasion strategies I have in my arsenal. I’m both completely inept and completely beetle-free, so you should definitely be fine.

3 responses

  1. i lived in old kenyon last year and had a major infestation. they crawled into my smoke detector and set it off at 3 a.m. they are pure evil.

  2. Pingback: 10 o’clock list: Lecture Series the Kenyon Review Should Sponsor | The Thrill

  3. Pingback: Prepare Yourself, They Are Coming. | The Thrill

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