Whether you’ve just begun your journey into freakitude or you began it long ago, The Thrill is here to help you improve your safe, consensual sexy sex times by answering your most burning questions. Have a question about x-rated materials? Send us an e-mail at email@example.com with the subject line Sex Q and we’ll answer it in our next edition. Feeling embarrassed? Not to worry– we’ve set up a Gmail account to allow for anonymous questions. The username is “gettingfreakythrill” and the password is “thethrill”. Log in and shoot us an email, and your question may be featured on the blog!
After the jump: Kegels, three-ways and orgasms!
Q: What the hell are kegels? I feel like I’m supposed to know this, but I honestly have no idea.
No worries, dude! Kegels are exercises that specifically target the muscles used during urination. Consequently, these muscles are also used during sexy sex times, especially when vaginas are concerned. Kegel exercises can do wonders for you down-there area; along with helping to stop urinary incontinence, they can also help to tighten up your sexy bits and potentially relieve pain during intercourse.
The first step in doing Kegels is figuring out which muscles to use. While you’re making one of your many daily visits to the whiz palace, try to stop your urine stream midway through without clenching your butt. Those are the pelvic muscles you’re looking for. Once you’re ready, lie on your back and clench those muscles for five seconds and then unclench for ten seconds. Do about ten reps per session with your goal being to work your way up to ten seconds of clenching.
Be careful, though! Kegels can’t solve all of your downstairs problems. If you’re really hurting, talk to a doctor.
Q: Hey! I’m a lady who can orgasm just fine on my own, but when it comes to orgasming with a partner, I totally freeze up. Is there anything I can do to solve this?
Hey yourself! Your problem is far from rare; only about 25 percent of women are able to consistently orgasm with a partner. The most sensitive bits of the vulva are much, much smaller than the sensitive bits of the penis, and partners aren’t always aware of how to stimulate them. Plus, it’s easy for you to know what you like – you’re you! Your partner can’t read your mind.
Increased communication can often help in these situations. Have a serious chat with your partner about techniques they could use to please you in bed. Show your partner how you masturbate (mmm, steamy)! Talk during the act! Be willing to guide their hands or mouth or sex parts to places that you know will make you feel good! If you’re still having trouble reaching climax (which is still completely normal, by the way), try stimulating yourself in one area while your partner stimulates you in another. As long as you two continue consenting to different techniques, keep experimenting until you find out what feels best.
Q: How do you approach the topic of group sex with a prospective third person?
This is a tough one. There’s no set formula for asking someone if they’d like to have sex with you and your sexy friend. I would definitely do it sober – the last thing you want is to scare someone with your advances, and drunkenness kind of lends itself to sloppiness. I would also recommend asking someone with whom you have an established rapport. Asking an acquaintance these questions will probably make them uncomfortable, and that’s the last thing you want. Once you feel you’re ready, breach the subject with a general question (i.e. “Have you ever thought about a three-way?”). Then, I suggest complimenting the person. You obviously have a lot of respect for them if you’re interested in getting intimate with them. Something like “My partner and I really think you’re amazing” might break the ice a little more. Finally, be straightforward when you ask the question. Skirting around the idea isn’t going to do anyone any good. Once they’ve given an answer, respect their decision. Their response is their prerogative, and they have a right to operate only within their comfort level.