Hopeful Girl in Wiggle: If I met Daniel Radcliffe do you think he’d be attracted to me?
Friend Who’s Keepin’ it Real: I think he’d be polite.
Uncultured Senior: Is this one direction?
Slightly More Cultured Friend: This is k pop, you ass.
Definitely not Floyd on Old Side: People STILL keep calling me Floyd, even now!
Not Even Remotely German First-Year: I woke up with a Lederhosen in my bed.
Culturally Unaware Junior: It’s just like in North Korea*
[Ed: it’s actually, probably nothing like North Korea]
Extremely Confident Girl: Every hookup has a winner and a loser, and I always win.
Busty Boy in the Duplex: You could cop a feel!
Less Drunk Girls: It is 2 AM. Take the bra off.