We’ve all been to Peirce at common hour on a Tuesday. One minute you’re on hunt for the last scoop of fries before they run out, the next, the literal Hunger Games are upon you. No one is safe. No one makes it out entirely whole. Here are some people to look out for to ensure that the odds are ever in your favor.
1. That guy that waits for all the fizz to die down in his soda for like a whole minute before moving away from the machine. Seriously that extra ounce of soda isn’t going to do much, just take half a glass like the rest of us and save everyone the trouble.
2. The prospie who has no idea what the hell is going on. Listen, we all know you’re just going to chicken out and get a salad, stop walking in circles you’re making me dizzy.
3. The kid who really wants an omelet. Yes the omelet line is long, but you pushing me into the glass isn’t going to make the line any shorter, it’s just going to make me irritated.
4. The guy who’s pissed the Blue Powerade is out of order. Drink some water or something for once, it’s not the end of the world dude, I promise, you will survive this.
5. The visiting parents who always take trays. I understand how in awe you are of a college dining establishment…but can you do your touristy sight seeing thing later? When no one is here? Also, methodically taking small portions of fries and then putting some spinach next to them does not make them healthier. Believe me, we’ve tried.