Kenyon Confessions is teeming with unanswered questions about queer life. We queer beans on the Thrill staff (and a few guests) have taken it upon ourselves to answer your questions about queer life at Kenyon! Queer Queries @ Quenyon will regularly feature a new queer-identifying Kenyon student who will offer their perspective about questions you submit to the Thrill (via firstname.lastname@example.org) or post on Kenyon Confessions.
Q: I think I might be into girls but I don’t know how to flirt with one. What do I do?
I’m gonna go ahead and assume you’re a girl who is considering the possibility of getting it on with other girls… in which case, yeeeeah! It’s important to remember that confidence is sexy as hell—as long as you’re respectful of boundaries, you can’t really go wrong. Tell her she’s pretty. Tell her you want her as much as you want world peace. She’ll dig it. The worst thing that could happen is that she’s straight or otherwise uninterested, and hey, at least you went for it! Protip: do your motherfucking homework and spare yourself the discomfort of hitting on a girl who’s 3,000% straight. You’re welcome.
If you’re going to experiment dating someone you know has experience with dating girls, make your intentions clear: YOU. ARE. TRYING. THIS. OUT. As long as you maintain a good level of communication, you should be good to go!
Q: How do I ask about someone’s sexual orientation without being offensive?
The first thing I’d ask myself is: why is it important for me to know this person’s sexual orientation? 9/10 of the time it’s because I’m doing my homework and figuring out whether or not someone’s available for bizness. Casually bringing up exes can sometimes be a good segue into figuring out whether which way they swing it. Don’t push it, though. Remember that sexuality is something highly personal, and if someone wants to volunteer that information to you, let that person decide if and when they want to do that. Are you just curious about how a person identifies? There’s a good chance it’s none of your damn business. Cheers!
Q: I’m shit at remembering peoples’ pronouns and I feel terrible about it.
It’s great you’re working to respect someone’s preferred pronouns! It can definitely be embarrassing when you slip up and use the wrong pronouns with someone. When this happened to me, I apologized to the person and asked them to call me out if I ever made that mistake again. I have a few friends that use they/their/them pronouns—it was tricky at first to use those pronouns in casual conversation, but with a little practice it became more natural. I promise you it’s not impossible.
Have more Queer Queries? E-mail your questions to email@example.com or post them on Kenyon Confessions and we will do our best to find them!
Want to get on the dislist for a queer organization on campus? Queer Men’s/Women’s organizations are completely confidential and hold weekly meetings. Unity House meetings are held in NCA 3A at 3:00 p.m. on Sundays. E-mail the accounts below if you are interested in being added to the dis-list!
- Queer Men’s Society: firstname.lastname@example.org, email@example.com.
- Queer Women’s Collective: firstname.lastname@example.org.
- Unity House: email@example.com.
Unity House will be hosting a party this Friday! Remember to look for the event on Facebook–or just show up!