“Cam’ron’s Riders”; Alternatively, “Grackle’s Big Mistake”

Damnit, Google, always showin' me up.

Damnit, Google, always showin’ me up.

Awright awright awright. First things first, I love words. I love learning new words, using weird words, listening to Bo Burnham’s “Words, Words, Words” … you get the picture. So a few days ago, when I checked The Thrill‘s list of posts going up this week, I was confused to see a word I didn’t expect in a post that didn’t make sense. According to my fellow editors, I was to write a post on “Cam’ron’s List of Riders”.

Screen Shot 2014-11-15 at 2.08.25 PM

A shout into the void that is The Thrill editors’ GroupMe.

I began panicking. Are people riding Cam’ron into Gambier? I thought. Do they perch on his back while he gallops on all fours? Does he wear a saddle? How many riders can fit on top of him?

Obviously, this scenario was highly unlikely. A famous rapper wouldn’t deign to carry the burden of his posse on his back. So, I jumped to a more reasonable conclusion.

Screen Shot 2014-11-15 at 2.14.20 PM

Cam’ron, I decided, was the leader of a gang of crusaders who fought to spread darkness across the midwestern United States. His “riders” were his followers, reanimated spirits of fallen warriors who’d died attempting to further Cam’ron’s goal of eternal night. Naturally, I was corrected pretty quickly, but my vision of Cam’ron’s evil takeover didn’t die.

Narkis '17 sets me straight while I refuse to listen.

Narkis ’17 sets me straight while I refuse to listen.

Of course, my vision was based on false information. Cam’ron is likely a perfectly nice dude whose only aim is to be the best damn rapper he can be. Still, I can’t help but wonder what the world would be like if Cam’ron changed his course. If only he would drop his mic and burst into flames like Nic Cage’s Ghost Rider, galloping away from his performance on a demonic mare.

A girl can dream, right?

hell darksiders horses warriors 2560x1600 wallpaper_www.wall321.com_29

Now THAT’S an exit.

Check out Cam’ron’s show at the Horn Gallery tonight at 9 P.M. His performance may not include any hellfire, but it’s definitely gonna be rad.

 

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