Drunk Jenga, Never Have I Ever, King’s Cup, Dirty Pint, Beer Pong: been there, done that. 10 Fingers is pointless since your friends already know your deep, dark, dirty secrets and you know theirs (…then again, so does the rest of campus because this place is tiny as hell). Someone marinated your only deck of cards in gin last weekend, and it’s missing a 7 of spades. No one remembers where the Twister board went. My point is that we obviously need to spice things up with some drinking games, done ~~¡¡¡Kenyon style!!!~~ because there’s nothing left to inspire us in rural Ohio except corn and Jesus. Here are just a few ideas:
- Tour de Gund (or “Tour de Franzia.” Your pick.): See which of your friends can be the first to drink a cup of Franzia in every building named after Graham Gund. The first person to do this and still be able to bike anywhere at all wins.
- Boozy Brunch: Go to Sunday brunch, and take a shot for every time you hear someone say, “ugh I’m so hungover.” Take a sip for every person in the omelet line. Finish off your drink if you encounter an awkward ex-hookup. An extra shot if they’re wearing duck boots.
- Finals Week Wasted: Take a shot for every person you see having panicking about their work. Take another for every book you Sparknoted this semester. And finally, a shot for every discontented sigh you hear on 3rd floor Olin.
- First Year Yak: Park yourself outside of the Cove with some friends and take a shot for every first-year who’s kicked out. You can also take a shot for every first-year you hear complain about their work load. Three shots if their K-card is attached to a keychain.
- AllStu Challenge: I assume this one speaks for itself.
Don’t forget to top it all off with a Philander Chaser (waddappppppp!!):
- ¼ Kokosing water
- ¼ manifest destiny
- Fill it up with that blue shit from the market.
**The Thrill obviously does not condone underage drinking. Just to be clear.**