On Topic, Off Topic: Peirce Nanners

This post was guest written by a guest contributor.


It’s probably clear to all of us that flock day-in, day-out to Peirce, that something suspicious is happening. For the potassium-inclined among us, the past days have been steeped in disappointment.

On Topic: Peirce Bananas are getting smaller – In an outrageous turn of events, banana sizes are shrinking at an alarming rate. Some students note that this is amidst a volatile Peirce fruit market (as apples shrink and asian pears are showing strong vitals, increasing in size). Others attribute this to educational budget cuts facing schools nationwide. Either way, we as students can’t sit idly by!

Off Topic: Kenyon Students Increase in Size – Before our pitchforks and torches line middle path on our way to Peirce, maybe we should ask ourselves: “What if the bananas aren’t getting smaller, but we are slowly getting bigger”. I’m no physics major, but there could be something here. Calling all summer scientists!


5 responses

  1. This may come as a surprise to those not from tropical countries but there are over 1000 varieties of bananas in the world. The bananas aren’t shrinking you just haven’t gotten very far beyond the realm of Cavendish bananas. I recommend a trip to the tropics for further education on banana varieties.

    Or wikipedia, I suppose.

    • Dear Banana-na-na-na,

      I applaud you for your attempts to educate the Thrill editors, writers, and readership as to the fine nature, characteristics, and qualities of the various varieties of the banana beyond our most favored Cavendish. You are correct that there are sundry kinds of bananas on our beloved planet and that greater banana education is sorely needed in the United States. However, your comment implies that the smaller bananas currently being served in Peirce are not of the Cavendish variety. On this point, my friend, you are sorely mistaken. The bananas currently being served in Peirce are indeed Cavendish, but happen to be smaller specimens of that esteemed variety.
      Dearest Thrill staff, you should be aware though that the picture you have posted with this article is not one of specimens of the Cavendish variety. It is in fact a picture of a different variety that is smaller. Banana-na-na-na, if this is from whence your confusion arose, I apologize for implying any ignorance on your part, the image is misleading.

      • Dear Jake GR,

        Thank you for your insights. Since I am off-campus and have only the aforementioned image to go on, I could only assume that those are the bananas being served currently in Peirce. If I recall correctly, this variety is called Lady Finger (or sugar banana if you’re into less interesting names) in case you are wondering. Perhaps I should have noticed that the tile floor in the image is unlike that of Peirce servery but who am I to question the Thrill’s content? I just wanted to suggest a trip to the tropics.

      • Banana-na-na-na,

        Ah, I understand. Indeed, you are correct regarding the variety of the pictured banana. After commenting, I researched the PLU number of the pictured bananas (PLU numbers are really cool) and came to the same conclusion. Apparently, the Lady Finger is becoming popular in southern California and is preferred among restaurants for making banana desserts. I hope you are having a wonderful time off-campus and that you get your trip to the tropics soon. I hear it is very nice around the Equator this time of year.

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