This post was guest written by a guest contributor.
It’s probably clear to all of us that flock day-in, day-out to Peirce, that something suspicious is happening. For the potassium-inclined among us, the past days have been steeped in disappointment.
On Topic: Peirce Bananas are getting smaller – In an outrageous turn of events, banana sizes are shrinking at an alarming rate. Some students note that this is amidst a volatile Peirce fruit market (as apples shrink and asian pears are showing strong vitals, increasing in size). Others attribute this to educational budget cuts facing schools nationwide. Either way, we as students can’t sit idly by!
Off Topic: Kenyon Students Increase in Size – Before our pitchforks and torches line middle path on our way to Peirce, maybe we should ask ourselves: “What if the bananas aren’t getting smaller, but we are slowly getting bigger”. I’m no physics major, but there could be something here. Calling all summer scientists!