Once you get out of high school, the social sciences and humanities have really weirdly-named textbooks (sorry STEM people, but most of y’all’s stuff is named so dryly). Gotta make your book stand out somehow, I guess. But sometimes I think author’s can miss the mark just a bit. Or maybe it’s my overactive imagination. Probably both. Here’s a list of some textbook titles and the erotic novels they could possibly contain inside.
1. The Bankers’ New Clothes: What’s Wrong with Banking and What to Do about It by Anat Admati and Martin Hellwig. Class: Money & Financial Markets. In what could be the most daring Wall Street thriller of the year, The Bankers’ New Clothes would be about a recent business school grad who rises the ladder of success while simultaneously climbing her boss. She also saves the United States’s economy by accidentally sitting on a keyboard while they’re doing it.
2. American Leviathan: Empire, Nation, and the Revolutionary Frontier by Patrick Griffin. Class: American Revolution. This fantasy tale would take a young frontiersman out of Pennsylvania and out to the Atlantic sea, where he meets the King of the Sea, who has a pet Leviathan, but is also a (sea) monster in the sack. Together the frontiersman, the King, and his pet Leviathan win the American Revolution, then sweep Benjamin Franklin off with them to their palace underwater.
3. Bad Feminist: Essays by Roxanne Gay. Class: Introduction to Womens & Gender Studies. In what could have been the greatest depiction of feminist BDSM ever written, Bad Feminist is the story of one woman who finds empowerment through whips and chains, with lots and lots of consent from her partners.
4. The Power of the Center: A Study of Composition in the Visual Arts by Rudolph Arnheim. Class: Style & Staging in World Cinema. Sultry and sensual are words that may have described this invigorating tale, where two urban women quit their jobs to move to a farm, where they raise sheep, grow carrots, find inner-peace and make each other orgasm. A lot. Eventually they begin making art with objects they find on their farm and return to the city to critical acclaim, though their passion for one another never diminishes.
5. Beneath the United States: A History of U.S. Policy toward Latin America by Lars Schoultz. Class: Practice and Theory of History. A Peruvian reporter falls for a U.S. Senator visiting his country. But when he takes her to bed, he finds that, like usual, the United States wants to be on top. Their smoldering attraction would have been the ticket to increased trade between the two countries.